An unexpected new chapter
The last two months have been some of the most tumultuous months of my life. Rivalled only by the death of my dad 16 years ago when I was 20, which although was utterly devastating, lacked the motions of self doubt, unexpected revelation, and panic that breaking from a 20 year relationship has entailed. As it turns out, both these life-changing events exhibit many similar emotions too, namely of grief and all its turbulent facets. My marriage to my childhood sweetheart has broken down and, like most break-ups, it is complicated, messy, emotional and utterly heartbreaking. I don't know what the future holds, but for now, I'm picking myself up and striding forward from one of the biggest challenges I have yet faced.
I read a paragraph during this time by Matt Haig which really spoke to me:
And that is where I find myself now, finding my new rhythm, building myself anew.
I have learnt many unexpected things during this time, some very hard to come to terms with, and others empowering and freeing. Every day is different and a new high or low of this emotional roller-coaster. As someone who finds security and confidence in routine and predictability, I have quickly learnt to accept that sometimes there is simply nothing that comes above just getting through the day, and good enough is, well, good enough.
Especially when each day involves regularly negotiating with a toddler embarking on the terrible-two's, who just had two molars cutting through one after the other, has decided to drop his nap and has just been ill. This resulted in multiple calls to 111 over the weekend, sleep deprivation, a trip to the doctor, and a PCR test (which came back negative, thank goodness!)... Exhausted doesn't even come close!! But my son is also my saving grace and brings me endless joy and smiles, even on the hardest days.
I have also quickly learnt to (mostly) ignore my own critical thoughts judging me for giving him banana on toast for breakfast - yet again, or forgetting to offer him vegetables (even though they would only have been thrown on the floor). Or letting him watch The Gruffalo's Child just one more time while I reply to a dear friend, or just drink my precious coffee while it's still (relatively) hot.
So, unsurprisingly during this time, something has had to give, and my jewellery making and work on my business had ground to halt, which although is frustrating, I accept that while ultimately I can do anything, I cannot do everything.
But, I'm feeling the start of a new shift in my energy and motivation levels that I hope will mark a positive change for the time and energy I can put into my business again!
In the meantime as I continue to navigate this new chapter of my life and find my feet as a single mum, despite taking my foot off the gas pedal for new projects, I am still sending orders out, and my Etsy shop is still open and fully stocked.
As I start to get more moments to myself (that crucially also coincide with a rise in creative energy levels!) there are SO many things on my to do list that I'm just itching to get stuck back into! I can't wait!
I love the sense of fulfilment and creativity I get when I'm making, and continuing to grow this business that I have nurtured over many years to get it where it is today. And there is so much further for it to go, but these things take time and head space, which is not something I have had in abundance! But as each day passes I'm getting closer to getting that back, and being able to enjoy creating my jewellery for you again.
a small selection of pieces currently available in my shop - click to view
In the meantime, please consider taking a moment to share my shop with a friend who you think might like my work. Maybe someone else you know needs a pick me up right now. Jewellery is wonderful way to show someone you're thinking of them and sending some love - I did exactly that for myself a few weeks ago when I was having a tough day. I made myself this necklace and I've worn it every day since, and each time I do up that clasp as I get ready in the morning and feel the cool pendulum-like weight of the gem against my skin, I feel a sense of reassurance; an "I can do this" feeling, and it puts a smile on my face.
Sometimes it's important to treat yourself too, don't you think?
I'll be sharing my journey as I get back into the swing of things again on instagram and facebook, so follow me over there if you don't already, and want to stay in the loop. Just a little like or comment to let me know you're still there means so much while I'm building my confidence and rhythm back up again, or for more exclusive content and promotions sign up to my newsletter here.
In other exciting news, I've recently sent some jewellery to local photographer Frankie Thomas for some chic lifestyle shots of some of my bestsellers - I can't wait to see what she's created and share it with you! Keep your eyes peeled on my social media channels (instagram & facebook) where I'll be showing a sneak peek very soon!
Thank you for sticking around, and I can't wait to start sharing more of my work with you again!
~ Cat x