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When Valentines Day is a bit complicated

How Valentines feels to me this year

Valentines Day is easy when you're in a relationship. You can celebrate it - or not - you have the choice, no biggie.

When I was married we chose not to celebrate it as the date we first got together was in March, so we celebrated that instead. But now I'm no longer in that relationship; divorce is impending, as is selling the house and finding somewhere else to live and other big life decisions/stresses... so days like Valentines are less easy to talk about in a carefree, jolly way, even though it is clearly an important selling date in the calendar for jewellers and other small businesses like me.

So I've felt a lot of pressure (and guilt) for not talking about it more. I should be trying to reach more customers with my jewellery. I should be writing meaningful posts about love and connection and romance. I should have a marketing plan for this period.

My only social media post so far talking about Valentines Day - and I still managed to avoid using the word Love! Though I have to say it's a rather beautiful sentiment about Green Tourmaline - click the image to read more.

Who should Valentines Day really be for?

But then after all the guilt and beating myself up for not feeling able to effortlessly write endless posts about all the things we're told Valentines Day (and therefore love) is about and who it's for - note; it's always someone else - the penny dropped... We can't give love if we can't love ourselves first, right? Is it any wonder when we feel stretched so thin, we're overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted, that it's hard to show up and pour out love for others?

Love and grace must first be shown to ourselves, it's like putting your oxygen mask on first. Go on that walk. Take that bath. Sit in the sun with a coffee for a few minutes before you hit your To Do list. Whatever it is that brings you a moment for yourself, to just be; take it wherever and whenever you can. Make the time to do it. I know it's easier said than done sometimes, but aren't you worth it??

These little moments, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant (and easy to pass by for the sake of being productive or caught up in the rush from A to B), nourish your soul. And isn't that what life's about? Giving ourselves a full and happy and healthy life?

Take a moment to remember and relish in how good these moments just for us feel, and breathe in that little lightness in your chest that you probably hadn't realised was just a little heavy or tight.

Whether you are in a relationship or not, remember to show yourself kindness. Speak to yourself with gentleness and love as you would a dear friend. Offer yourself patience and understanding and respect.

Rose Gold pendants with Green Amethyst for peace and calm, and Rose Quartz for love and friendship. Click image to view in my shop

Everything begins with Love

So, I implore, make a promise to yourself, show yourself some love on a regular basis. And ask yourself - honestly - how many times do you prioritise something else or someone else over yourself and your own needs? It's just so easy to do, isn't it? 'I don't have time', or 'I shouldn't spend that', or 'I don't NEED it'. 'I'll just do this other little thing first...'.

I'd highly recommend reading this post by the brilliant Anna Mathur, it really resonated with me when she shared it at the end of last year - I'd love to know if you also had the same realisation that Yes, you ARE worth more than bananas too!!! 😂

Read it, I promise I haven't totally lost the plot!!

In all seriousness though, you are worth it, so go give yourself the hug and pick-me-up that you would so freely give to someone else without question.

May this Valentines Day be for YOU this year. A day to celebrate everything that makes you so special and wonderful and deserving of love ❤️

Garnet and Silver Orbit earrings. Click to view in my shop

I hope you enjoyed this post - if you did, please consider signing up to my email letters, a quiet invitation to reflect and connect, as well as the usual perks of early access to new collections and offers, and tips and advice and personal writings from me.


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